A special Christmas present
Doing some last minute shopping and looking for a gift for a loved one? Don't follow the now infamous example of a man who bought his wife a piece of high-tech electronics.
Back in 2004, an unnamed American went into his local gun store looking for a Christmas present for his wife and was delighted to find a cute handbag-sized stun gun powered by two AA batteries. According to the instructions, you jab the prongs into your 250 pound assailant and push the button. A one-second burst would shock and disorient him, a two second shock would cause spasms and a loss of bodily control, and anything longer than that was just wasting the batteries.
Sitting in his living room in vest and Y-fronts, our nameless hero doubted that such a tiny little thing powered by a couple of pen cell batteries could really be that bad, and felt he really ought to test the device somehow before he gift wrapped it. He decided to give himself just a tiny little shock on his naked thigh. What he hadn't accounted for was that the shock affects the whole body, including his thumb, and the muscular spasm it induced meant he was unable to release the button once he'd pressed it. He said:
"I'm pretty sure that a wrestler ran in through the front door, picked me up out of the chair, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the foetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body at the oddest angle. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, do it again, do it again!"
19th December 2011